Bear and Gum


September 4th, 2008

As usual, today's strip is dedicated to the men and women fighting overseas.

Not to be confused with people in the armed forces, I'm obviously referring to husbands and wives who beat each other while on vacation.

God bless you, fine folks.

Celebrating the American right of domestic abuse by taking it abroad. You are God's chosen heroes. Never forget that.


August 28th, 2008

The good news is I still have my wisdom teeth. The bad news is one of them has a cavity.

I thought you'd all want to know.

Also, I realize that it's incredibly debatable as to whether still having my wisdom teeth is a good thing or not. You don't have to be jerks and be all "Here's some wisdom! Don't hold on to pointless teeth!"

I've made my choice and I stand by it. Extra teeth never hurt anybody, unless they were impacted or growing from a malignant tumor. There. I said it.



August 26th, 2008

Okay, so the "Let's update once a day!" plan has clearly gone to hell. But it's not my fault. I can't stress that enough, folks. I mean there are plenty of people we can blame for this (and trust me, I do), but one of them isn't me.

And hey... while we're on the topic of blame... when was the last time any of you emailed Huh? Anyone? I'm going to check right now.

Okay, Amy emailed like 50 minutes ago. BUT THAT'S IT!

C'mon people! That doesn't excuse the rest of you. Let's hear some excitement!

And then let's buy a t-shirt!

And then let's just sit down for a little while because too much excitement for one day can raise your blood pressure!



August 21st, 2008

I've just finished watching Pirates of the Caribbean III: At World's End on television.

AND SO ENDS my boycott on updating the news section. A lot of you questioned my ideals on this matter, but I hope that in time you'll understand just how important the POTC series is to this webcomic.

In spite of the fact that we have not been updating the site, strips have still been being written. So why didn't we update? I don't know. Why didn't you do it? Why's it always our job? You can't really complain if you're not willing to pull a little weight yourself. But let's not fight. Let's just agree that it's everybody's fault and leave it at that.

To get us all caught up without racing over all the new strips (since some of them are pretty damn good and deserve to be savored [some of them suck, but some should definitely be savored]), we'll be updating once a day until we're back on track.

Sound good?





January 17th, 2008

"So is this section actually for news or is it just another lame attempt at humor?"

Let me answer that question with another question.

"Fuck you?"



January 3rd, 2008

This marks the very first time I've ever updated while in bed.

That do anything for anybody?


Okay. I'll probably just go to sleep then. Unless... No? Okay. If you're sure. I mean, it wouldn't be wrong. There is a certain amount of sex appeal that comes with this job. Or so I was led to believe. It's not wrong to feel something. Unless that's what you like about it. Then it's very wrong. And you've been bad.

Gone too far? Okay. Goin' to sleep now. Sorry everybody. Sorry. Bet you thought you couldn't be sexually harrassed by the "News" section. Well, I'm happy to prove you wrong.

See you next week.


January 1st, 2008

It's official. We're all living in the future now.

2008: The Year of Bear and Gum.

You heard it hear first.


December 27th, 2007

Just a few more days before we can start using the phrase "way back in 2007."

Oh, man. That's gonna be pretty great.

It's been a good year, friends. For those who have checked up with us on a regular basis, I owe you one. For the rest of you, what gives? Why are you being a jerk?

New Years Resolution: I'm gonna buy a Bear and Gum shirt. First though, I'm going to make Zach design the most awesome shirt in the world. Maybe put my name nice and big on the back. Yeah. That sounds nice. Anybody else want in on this?


December 25th, 2007

Pete: Happy Holidays! (translation: I can finally listen to my Muppets Christmas Carol soundtrack and not feel "out of season.")

Zach: Happy Holidays! (translation: The candles on my Menorah melted when I decided to keep it above the radiator.)

What we're dealing with here, folks, are two very sharp individuals. That much is terrifyingly clear.



December 20th, 2007

You all ("Vosotros" for our Spanish speakers) thought we couldn't do it. But behold, the updates just keep on coming.

Pretty soon I'm going to have to start deleting posts from this News page just to keep it tidy. Which is sad considering how much excruciating thought goes into each post. Even now, I'm trying desperately to be funny, so that as soon as I post this I can run to my window and listen for laughs.

So laugh loud, folks. And tell your friends. And buy a t-shirt. And tell your friends to buy t-shirts. And somebody buy one for me too. I'd do it myself, but there too expensive.


December 18th, 2007

Zach's in Japan.

Pete's in Chicago.

But there minds, thank god, are still in the gutter.

There's part of me that thinks the above three lines should rhyme. But there's another, stronger part of me that wants to go make a miniature pizza.

It's the constant struggle between art and mini-food. And like it or not, mini-food is winning.


November 23rd, 2007

It's time for Christmas shopping, people!

I've been saying it since late June and we've offically reached the point in the year where I'm right. So why not take this opportunity to purchase a Bear and Gum t-shirt for a family friend or gay life partner? Or perhaps you have others in your life deserving of gifts, like a dog or... some sort of... hamster companion. Whatever ship you sail on, we'll be proud to sell you a t-shirt. Or as I call them, "My daughter's college fund."

The world spins madly on.

See you Tuesday.


November 22nd, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving, folks.

I'm about to head out to a bar and drink myself into a stupor, but for those of you with a family this holiday season... hold them close. Hold them oh so close. Hold them oh so uncomfortably close.

And save me some stuffing.

Also, tell your sister I said "hi." She'll know what it means.


November 21st, 2007

This is just going to be a week of firsts.

  • First time Pete's ever drawn Bear and Gum.

  • First time Zach's ever written Bear and Gum.

  • First time we've ever updated more than twice a week.

  • First time we've ever had a double release (two strips on one day.)

If I lose my virginity this week too...

I'm telling you guys, things are never gonna be the same.


November 20th, 2007

While Zach's away the mice will play.

Enter: Pete "The Mice" McElligott.

With Mr. Zirlin on vacation and away from his soul-draining hardware (I'm of course referring to his wife and child), it's up to Pete to keep this train moving. Today's strip, however, marks the only time when Pete will be on his own. In honor of Thanksgiving, Bear and Gum will be updating Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. And maybe Saturday if alcohol is involved. And to make these special strips even more special, Pete will be joined by special guest writer: ZACH ZIRLIN!

Give it up, folks. It don't get much better than this.


November 6th, 2007

Today marks the third update of the News page. Our father’s told us we’d never make it this far. They told us we’d never amount to anything. Then they told us that by the time we’re 65 years old Social Security will have collapsed, leaving us financially destitute and unable to retire.

Zach and I feel like we’ve disproved the most important of these three predictions.

Drink it in, folks. It’s the taste of self-satisfaction.

Oh and there’s a new strip (the debut of Lisa), and you should also probably buy a t-shirt cause… well, they’re kind of amazing. And since no one’s buying them, they’re unique!


October 16th, 2007

It's been awhile, we know, but we just heard you broke up with that guy you were with, and we're thinking, "Now, that she's thrown out the T-bone, maybe she's in the mood for some steak'ems."

So... what's goin' on?

Also, the site's got a new layout and a new strip. Just puttin' it out there.

And, oh yeah, that first post? Bullshit. Utter bullshit.

See you soon, babe.


February 4th, 2007

With three strips up, we are hopefully going to be maintaining a regular updating schedule. We're looking for a biweekly thing. Hopefully.